I cooked all day and all I got was a belly ache

My kitchen is finally lit again (hooray!) and I celebrated by cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner for 7 completely from scratch- no tube biscuits, boxed stuffing or canned cranberry sauce. Being a lazy perfectionist, I wouldn't have it any other way, but I must say I am exhausted and don't wish to peel another potato until next year. The fam. seemed to enjoy my over-rated meal. By the time I sat down to eat, my mother and father-in-law had already finished one plateful and were going for a second. Good sign.

The one dish that I really didn't want to make was the hit of the table. No it wasn't snotty green beans (yuck x2) it was the sweet potatoes swimming in butter and brown sugar topped with caramelized marshmallows. I was planning to make the sweet potatoes with apples and craisins but I was outnumbered by a bunch who is just counting the days until diabetes sets it. The turkey was excellent too if I dare toot my own horn. I tried a new bird technique this year. I coated the turkey in salt (2 cups) and refrigerated for 2 days prior to Thanksgiving then washed the bird and did the usual seasoning and sage rub and cooked the whole business in an oven bag. Holy crap, that was the juiciest most flavorful turkey I have ever tasted. I will definitely be doing that again next year. Thank You Martha Stewart.

Hope all of you had a great holiday and didn't get trampled while shopping today. Yikes! I ventured out to hit a few sales and soon realized that I had made a horrible mistake. I should have thrown in the towel when only 5 minutes into the first store we had to find the nearest bathroom. Then the fighting- oh the fighting, and I'm not talking about the women hovering over the bargain bin, no no, it was my children.

I really wanted to find a bedding set because I knew that I would be able to find a great deal today. I found what I wanted but it happened to be perched up on the highest shelf of the completely crowded Boston Store. I wanted to just climb up and get it myself, but my oldest accused my of being unsafe (who me?) so I wandered around the packed store in search of someone to get it down for me. Luckily all of the employees were wearing ridiculous reindeer antlers, making them easier to spot. the woman threw down my huge comforter set and off I went now carrying this heavy over-sized bag, dragging 2 bored children behind me. I then found some bed pillows at a great price so I grabbed those with my one free hand, children now on their own and still fighting. Then I thought, I can still carry something in mouth, so I better see if I can find some matching throw pillows while I'm already in holiday shopping hell. Found the pillows, filled the trunk, and headed home.

Next year if I decide to do this again, I will be hiring a sitter.

Anyone else shop today?

Oh, and what do you think of my pink ceiling? It matches my dishes (Desert Rose- my grandmother's pattern) that I have used to decorate my kitchen. It's only paint and I can always change it, but for now I think it's pretty and unexpected.

*Updated with snow photos* Can I take back the nice things I said about my house?

Yesterday I decided I would paint my kitchen in time for Thanksgiving. Now that we have proper ventilation through our range downdraft vent, the walls won't get all greasy and gross. Except for the fact that I have a Saint Bernard in my house house, so my walls are always covered in some sort of drool-hair slime that can only be cleaned off with a Magic Eraser. So I perused our paint department in the basement to discover that I only had about a half gallon of the kitchen color left so... Off to Menard's with me and my "I promise I don't have to go potty before we leave, I just went" children. We get all the way back to the paint counter and Mae says "I think I need to go potty now." NOW, she decides to go. It always seems to be an emergency with her, so I drop off my paint request and run all the way back to the front of the store to the bathroom. Thank god we know our way around Menard's.

So I buy the paint, return home and start painting. I start painting the ceiling and realize that we still have that hideous fluorescent light fixture hanging above our island. I refer to the offensive light as The Big Buzzer because it emits this horrible buzzing sound- duh? So I say in my sweetest, dumbed-down housewife voice " Honey, will you take down that fixture and put something else up, please?" I should have known better. Let the complaining begin. Hubby now-"It's not that simple, I can't just hang a new light there, there probably isn't even a box, and if there is, how old is it, and what idiot do-it-your- selfer put it in? You know, this whole first floor needs to be rewired, and I've got so many other projects going on right now." But he loves me and knows that he's spent a whole week and a half on a project in his work van that has gotten nowhere, so he grabs his tools to start the investigation.

He removed the Big Buzzer and was right, the old crusty wires were just hanging out of the ceiling from some mystery box hidden way up in a buried ceiling (oh my) with even more unidentified wires hanging out of that, just out of arms reach. So instead of new lighting for Thanksgiving, I have swiss cheese ceiling and now no light in my kitchen, save the puny light over the sink and the newly positioned lamp on the corner table.



Being the smart electrician that he is, he will conquer this project and give me a beautifully lit Thanksgiving table...I hope. Remolding is his way of being romantic and sweet. Works for me. Like Red Green says " If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." Luckily mine is both!

And now totally unrelated to my kitchen

It snowed this morning! The girls were thrilled. Mae played in the snow for a few minutes while we waited for the bus.

Forgive me, I took 2 Sudafed Severe Cold before I wrote this

***This isn't heavy machinery....Right?***

I'm too sick to be funny today, so instead I give you photos of my children. It's just a cold, but it's hard to be the mom when all I feel like doing is sleeping. Lunches still need to be made, dishes need to be washed and put away, and the cows still need to be milked....... what?


Last week report cards were sent home from school. Get this, Mae got a needs improvement for Art class. Ridiculous right? Do you think I can ask for a refund for all of the arts classes she's taken?




Binny didn't get evaluated in Art.


And just for fun, here's an oldie of Mae on her first day of Art preschool way back in Sept. 2006










I found Binny's too. They had taken down the big chair by then, so she just stood in front of the big glass doors.





Happy Weekend!

They don't make em like they used to

Back in early September on Labor Day weekend we had family here for the weekend. 7 in the house total all weekend, so of course my refrigerator takes a crap Saturday night after a big family dinner. At first I thought that it wasn't staying cold because one of the adults kids left it hanging open, but soon realized that our refrigerator was gone- never to work again. This wasn't an avacado green fridge from decades past, or the old style handle on the big heavy door fridges. My fridge was only eight years old and wasn't even used heavily for all of that time. I don't get it.

So Sunday on Labor Day weekend we had to go shopping for a fridge, all 7 of us. Meanwhile, we happened to be storing a spare fridge in our barn from a displaced hippie I know. Convenient, no? I opened the fridge and realized that we might all die if I put our food in it, so I washed it out with bleach water, plugged it in and left on the back patio. We sure know how to entertain for family. So on Sunday we bought a new fridge (bend over for the price) it works great and is much bigger, but how long until this new, expensive appliance becomes just a piece of un-fixable junk?


My washer and dryer have been in terrible shape for the last 4 years. The washer hops across the floor during the spin cycle and drags along with it some sticky brown grease that has been leaking from underside for even longer. The dryer door button has been broken for about 2 years and now needs to be bungeed on, otherwise the door flies open and it turns off. Lots of half-dried clothes here. And those are the 2 appliances that keep hanging on. We were planning to proactively buy a new washer and dryer but we frivolously spent our money on replacement fridge. Shame on us, the consumer for asking for major household appliances to last longer than 8 years. Hell, I know quite a few people who still have the old inefficiant models, but at least they work.




Well... I'm off to do laundry and chase my washer around the laundry room

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Today my Grandfather (my mom's dad) turns 91. I know it's not "Today's Show" old or anything, but still impressive. Last year for his 90th Birthday our family put together a list of our 90 favorite things about our favorite 90 year old. Here are a few of my favorites, written by his wife of 58 years, 2 daughters and 6 grandchildren:

2. Conrad and I met in the fall and that winter the country roads were often closed due to bad weather. He would walk the three miles to our house once a week. Before he left he would say "Did you ever have the feeling that you want to stay, but must go?"

8. He wears a bright colored cap on his head so I can always find him.
9. A few years ago Conrad bought a pair of pants at the thrift store, and when I went to wash them, I noticed that I had hemmed that very pair of pants before. He bought them BACK!

19. I loved all of the wonderful stories you told us at bedtime.
20. I love how you make me smile when I talk to you on the phone.

21. Dad taught me how to Make and eat lefse.
22. Dad taught me how to fillet a fish.

28. Every year he calls to sing me Happy Birthday.

31. Memories of sitting on Grandpa’s lap as a child at the piano. He taught me my first piano tune-"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."
32. Is there any instrument Grandpa can’t or hasn't played with strings or keys? He is the most talented musician that I know. While I can play piano a little by reading music, I credit the ability to play "by ear" a gift from Grandpa.

36. Grandpa’s laughter is contagious. It will brighten anyone’s day. Perhaps it is part of the secret to a long and blissful marriage with Grandma. His "selective hearing" often gets him in trouble with Grandma , his laughter gets him out.

41. He taught me how to properly unhook a bullhead, because the pelicans need to eat too.
42. He has 2 speeds, the one he’s at now and one slower.
43. We learned everything there is to know about fishing; as long as your trolling a
spinner with a night crawler-you’re in business.
44. A man needs 37 radios in his garden shed and phone in the bathroom.
45. Eating breakfast at Hardee's and McDonald’s for decades is not as unhealthy as people think.
46. The term UFF-DA is a great way to express discontent, disappointment, or exhaustion without swearing.
47. Palmolive soap works great in the shower as a hair and body wash.

54. One of my fondest memories of Grandpa is when he sang "Somebody Loves You" at our wedding (and all the grandkids’ weddings since). He was a hit, and all of our friends and family loved it.

59. When I was a small child I didn't have much of an appetite, so Grandpa would always encourage me to be a member of the Clean Plater's Club like him. Now when my kids won’t eat I use the same line.

61. Knee Boarding behind Grandpa’s fishing boat.
62. Taking a pinch of Skoal Key in the boat.
63. Catching my wall mounter at Lee Lake.
64. Driving the truck on the gravel roads at the lake. (Drivers training)

71. Thank you for taking me fishing. Looking back on it, I’m sure that I wanted to go fishing more than you did, but you never let me know it.
72. Thank you for teaching me the virtue of carrying a pocketknife.
73. Thank you for testing my arithmetic when I was young and for always being willing to tell me a story.

79. Thank you for taking me to Mexico and Canada. Also, thank you for letting me have a cigar in Mexico and for telling Grandma not to get too mad about it.

81. I will never forget that grandpa was standing by my side on my wedding day. It was an honor to have him as my best man. It would not have been the same without him.

83. When I was younger I never missed a summer at Lee Lake. Grandpa would take me fishing and if I didn't catch a fish and it was getting toward the end he would give me his rod if he had a bite.

85. I love grandpa’s laugh. He and I call it the horse laugh. It will put a smile on any ones’ face. It's great! He will throw it into a conversation or just to change the mood.

This year a few of us chipped in and bought him a GPS for the car. He has been wanting one for a while, and we figured he's not getting any younger. I just hope that he can figure out how to use it. It's amazing to think of all of the technological advances that have been made in his lifetime. When he was a kid, he rode his horse to school, now he's got a GPS.

Happy Birthday Gramps!

The Resistance of an Old House

Over the past 8 years we've done a lot of home improvement projects in a whopping 5 houses, so by now we're no strangers to demolition, messes, remodel and more mess. Even after all of the different types of houses we've lived in and altered, I'm always impressed with the quality and craftsmanship of this old house we're in now.

This house is roughly 100 years old and is the most solid house we've ever lived in. The wind can blow and blow and not a creek or moan form this old girl. The main reason I'm sure is that she's not been messed with. The kitchen had been remodeled sometime in the 60s and a bathroom had been added (the wonder of indoor plumbing) but much of the house is original. The windows had never been replaced, the siding is original and I'm convinced that the second floor had been closed off for about 40 years. It's was like stepping back in time when we first walked through. Some of the walls upstairs had never even been painted, the floors and woodwork pristine, as if the children who lived here were so well behaved that there was no trace of crayon on the walls, or broken windows that you'd typically find in an old house like this. The pride just oozes out of the floorboards. It's even more evident in the garage and barn where every oil change and field planted are written on the wall along with the phone number of the vet and the local co-op.

Without trying to take away too much of the character of this old house we have done some remodeling. We replaced many of the old single pane windows, repainted the exterior, painted inside, put heat in on the second floor, and the kitchen seems to be an ongoing project nearing completion. So that brings us to yesterday afternoon. My hubby decided that he would install the downdraft unit in our range so that I can finally fry bacon on my stove without setting off the smoke detectors. I now understand why he'd been putting it off for 2 years since we bought our fancy-schmancy Jenn-Air range. It wasn't that he didn't want me to enjoy the benefits of my "you paid what for that?" appliance but it's that our house seems to be resistant to modern conveniences. The same was true when he installed our dishwasher. Our house put up quite a stink about that one too. The floor in our kitchen is a whole 2 1/4 inches thick and the basement wall is 2 feet thick of stone and mortar, so drilling large holes seems to be an issue.

We did win this battle but I'm curious as to what she'll think if we ever decided to replace the old-style television antenna on our roof with a dish, or even add a second bathroom. How far in the future can we take this old house before she loses her composure and tells us where to shove our unnecessary modern conveniences.

Customer Service, My Ass

If I am put on hold one more time I'm going to scream.

Back in April, Mae was hospitalized for a week with a nasty infection that made her look like she had been in a fight, and lost. Whole story- I took her to the (on call) doctor for a sinus infection, she was given a Rx and sent home. Within 2 hours her eye had swollen shut, she had a high fever, and was of course vomiting- because that's always fun. I took her back to the clinic, she saw a different doctor, and he admitted her to the hospital. Turns out she had a serious infection in the orbit bone of her eye- Yowza! So after a week of IV antibiotic at the hospital and 6 weeks of 2 different oral antibiotics at home, she was finally better. She's been sick since, but not bad enough to need hospitalization, Thank goodness. So why I am so infuriated? This was waaay back in April, and I just now (6 months later) got the bill from the hospital. I even talked to them back in August saying I never received a bill and they corrected the incorrect mailing info and... nada. Really, I don't care when they get their money but one nasty bill six months after the fact saying I'm delinquent is pure baloney. I'm calling Bullshit!

So I called the hospital this afternoon to see what else they may have screwed up, and since I couldn't understand the guy on the phone when he mumbled his name at the beginning of the crappy connection phone bank, phone call, I'll call him Dick or Rick, or Mr. Asswipe, you get the picture. This was the customer service and billing department of the hospital, where they deal all day long with people who can't or for whatever reason won't pay their bills, so I know it sounds crazy when some woman who sounds like she's 12 calls and says she didn't get a bill. I know that, but just trust me Mr. Asswipe, I DIDN'T GET A FREAKING BILL. So after going back and forth for a while with "ya-huh," "na-ah", "ya-ha", "na-ah" he put me on hold, came back and said "yeah, ma'am you're going to need to make a payment over the phone right now." Oh no you didn't! Oh yeah, he done got me irritated. So my response, "I didn't call to make a payment over the phone, I called to tell you that I will start making payments because I just got the bill that said I needed to call before I did anything, or else" Back on hold. That's why I make these calls when my kids are at school, they would have the whole house trashed by the time I'd get off the phone, and that seems to happen more often than not, that they act up while on on the phone. So Dick gets back on the line with some crap about how they've been sending out bills every month, and I need to make a payment over the phone right freaking now. Once again a big fat NO from me, I even gave in and told him I'll mail out my first payment this afternoon (eh, maybe tomorrow.) Back on hold. When he came back on the line he said that he set up a monthly payment plan for me and asked me for the check # that I would be sending out this afternoon "right after you get off the phone with me, okay Ma'am?" What a Dick. By this time I was having fun with him and of course said no to the check #. "You'll get it when you get it."

I do realize that they earned their money for treating my child and they will get it, but not by bullying this mom. So watch out customer service representatives of America and parts of Asia, this woman has lost all patience for being put on hold, reciting account numbers, dates of birth, current address and all other BS involved in one of those awful calls. But remember "Stay on the line because your call is very important to us."

Just one of many flaws in our current healthcare system.

*After I got off the phone I doubled-checked my records and found no previous bills. I had paid the bills for the doctor and the bills for the special tests they had run, but never got this whopper of a bill until last week. I was right!