At our first rest stop, I walked into the women's restroom and peered under the stall doors to find one without feet. I found an empty one, walked in, locked the door. For a 6 stall bathroom full of women, it was fairly quiet in there. Then all of a sudden, before I even had a chance to hang my purse on the hook, I heard some fumbling around in the stall next to me, followed by a quiet "good Lord in heaven" from my neighbor, then a big WOOOOOSH of the toilet.
"Hey Al, watch your speed, there's a Johnny Pinch up ahead on your left."
***Me to my brothers: "Hey guys, look, it's an Olive Garden! I could totally go for the soup, salad and bread-sticks lunch!" Younger bro pipes up from the back seat and says, "No way I am eating there. I refuse to eat at a restaurant where their thing is to treat me like family."
***"Hey Bro, What the hell are we listening to?" "Shut up, dumb ass, it's Bird and the Bee. The Hall and Oates tribute album."
I dare you to listen to this and not be in a good mood afterward.
As I was opening the door to MY hotel room for the first time, my brother walked over and informed me that while I was checking in at the desk, he read the front page of a five day old Grand Forks Herald newspaper that was sitting on a side table in the lobby. There was an article about the recent surge in cases of bedbugs in hotel rooms. He then waved his finger around and said, "The picture in the paper looked a lot like this room."
***About 20 minutes from home on Sunday night, we were all exhausted and sick of each other. It was dark outside and the sky was as clear as can be, making the crescent moon look like it was on fire. My brother breaks the silence in the car with, "Hey guys, check out the shit-house moon."