At Least Someone In This House Listens To Me

*This post is full of crossed out words, links, parenthesis and ranting. I wouldn't read it if I were you.

I may not be Dooce and I certainly don't own of those fancy front loading DO NOT BUY A MAYTAG steam washers, but I have had my share of washing machine related headaches. So exactly 6 months to the day after writing this post telling my washer to DIE, I waltz into my DIY nightmare of a laundry room, throw in two wool sweaters (I hate hand washing and avoid it all costs even if I have to buy a new sweater because the sleeves wrap around the agitator and stretch it way the hell out), not that I've worn either one of those sweaters in the last 2 months, because well, it's SUMMER and that's how procrastination works. Anyhow, I move the temperature dial to cold cold, spin the cycle control knob (the big one you have to push, turn then pull out) to DELICATE, pull the knob and she fires right up, filling and gently agitating. I walk away and start watching Days Of Our Lives doing something totally productive when I start to hear a loud clicking noise coming from my DIY nightmare of a laundry room and I realize that my washing machine no longer spins, just makes an awful noise and also won't drain the water. Now what? Before long my grandmother walks in to see what the hell blew up and agrees that "yeah this might be it." I was then forced to remove the wet, soapy sweaters and hand wash them in the kitchen sink.

Now I know what I said about my washer and I still stand behind that (and all of my posts even the one that turned me into a non-believing, leftist red commie), but really now is not a good time for us to be ponying up big money for a new washing machine. The Gardener is still only working 32 hours a week (since November) and there is talk that he may be laid off soon due to the crappy economy. Mae's medical bills have used up what little money there is after all of the household bills have been paid, our car just cost us $200, Mae had some unexpected Dental work and today I have to take the girls shoe shopping because tomorrow is the first day of school and be damned if they are going to go back wearing "last year's shoes." (That last part was a direct quote from Mae, the house fashion snob.) All that said, we don't have money for a new $1300 front loading steam washer or even the modest $700 washer I picked out months ago. After the Gardener declared our washer un-fixable, he suggested we buy a cheap top loader to replace ours. I hate that idea and refuse to spend money on something I will be pissed off about for the entire lifespan of the cheap washer. Instead we go out to the barn and look through the pile of appliances that we happen to be storing for a certain displaced hippie I know. Luck has it that there was a washing machine out there and it happened to be an almost exact match to the one we had except it was white in color rather than pukey tan. So the Gardener did the only logical thing and removed the white outer shell of the replacement washer and and slapped on our pukey tan one so our stolen washer and semi-operable dryer match of course. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong, you see the reason I call our Laundry room a DIY nightmare is because the washer and dryer may not be moved in or out of the room without taking all of the knobs off the cabinet doors and removing the toilet. So once again he pulled off the toilet as I ran to town to get another wax ring for the toilet. Never a dull moment around here I tell you.

After all of that, we once again have clean clothes and a washer that doesn't hop around and screech... yet.

*** As I was writing this, my grandfather walks in and asks what I'm doing. "Computing?"he asks. I tell him that I'm writing on my blog (and explain to him what a blog is) about my broken washing machine. He gives me a puzzled look and says "It doesn't work? Honest?" I swear sometimes I think he wouldn't notice if the house were on fire.