Customer Service, My Ass

If I am put on hold one more time I'm going to scream.

Back in April, Mae was hospitalized for a week with a nasty infection that made her look like she had been in a fight, and lost. Whole story- I took her to the (on call) doctor for a sinus infection, she was given a Rx and sent home. Within 2 hours her eye had swollen shut, she had a high fever, and was of course vomiting- because that's always fun. I took her back to the clinic, she saw a different doctor, and he admitted her to the hospital. Turns out she had a serious infection in the orbit bone of her eye- Yowza! So after a week of IV antibiotic at the hospital and 6 weeks of 2 different oral antibiotics at home, she was finally better. She's been sick since, but not bad enough to need hospitalization, Thank goodness. So why I am so infuriated? This was waaay back in April, and I just now (6 months later) got the bill from the hospital. I even talked to them back in August saying I never received a bill and they corrected the incorrect mailing info and... nada. Really, I don't care when they get their money but one nasty bill six months after the fact saying I'm delinquent is pure baloney. I'm calling Bullshit!

So I called the hospital this afternoon to see what else they may have screwed up, and since I couldn't understand the guy on the phone when he mumbled his name at the beginning of the crappy connection phone bank, phone call, I'll call him Dick or Rick, or Mr. Asswipe, you get the picture. This was the customer service and billing department of the hospital, where they deal all day long with people who can't or for whatever reason won't pay their bills, so I know it sounds crazy when some woman who sounds like she's 12 calls and says she didn't get a bill. I know that, but just trust me Mr. Asswipe, I DIDN'T GET A FREAKING BILL. So after going back and forth for a while with "ya-huh," "na-ah", "ya-ha", "na-ah" he put me on hold, came back and said "yeah, ma'am you're going to need to make a payment over the phone right now." Oh no you didn't! Oh yeah, he done got me irritated. So my response, "I didn't call to make a payment over the phone, I called to tell you that I will start making payments because I just got the bill that said I needed to call before I did anything, or else" Back on hold. That's why I make these calls when my kids are at school, they would have the whole house trashed by the time I'd get off the phone, and that seems to happen more often than not, that they act up while on on the phone. So Dick gets back on the line with some crap about how they've been sending out bills every month, and I need to make a payment over the phone right freaking now. Once again a big fat NO from me, I even gave in and told him I'll mail out my first payment this afternoon (eh, maybe tomorrow.) Back on hold. When he came back on the line he said that he set up a monthly payment plan for me and asked me for the check # that I would be sending out this afternoon "right after you get off the phone with me, okay Ma'am?" What a Dick. By this time I was having fun with him and of course said no to the check #. "You'll get it when you get it."

I do realize that they earned their money for treating my child and they will get it, but not by bullying this mom. So watch out customer service representatives of America and parts of Asia, this woman has lost all patience for being put on hold, reciting account numbers, dates of birth, current address and all other BS involved in one of those awful calls. But remember "Stay on the line because your call is very important to us."

Just one of many flaws in our current healthcare system.

*After I got off the phone I doubled-checked my records and found no previous bills. I had paid the bills for the doctor and the bills for the special tests they had run, but never got this whopper of a bill until last week. I was right!