Saturday, March 21, 2009

Is It Acceptable to Treat Someone Like Crap If You Buy Her Kids A Present?

In short NO!

Last week at the farm my crazy employer had a bit of a temper tantrum because she didn't like the way I was sweeping the manger. The cows had not finished all of their hay from the morning so she wanted me to remove the uneaten (the reason they wouldn't eat it was because it was lousy hay. Full of sticks and kind of stinky.) hay and feed it to some other animals in a different pen. So I decided to do one side of the long manger first, sweep it all up, then do the other side, like I always do. Well she came over to make sure I was doing it right and of course I was not. She snatches the broom out of my hands, swears at me then proceeds to drag all of the shitty hay through where I had just cleaned. I tried to stop her, but she was all wound up over SWEEPING! I was about ready to tell her to stick that broom somewhere her virgin ears had never heard of, but I bit my tongue and went about my business. After an outburst like this she tries to make excuses for her actions and over explain why she wants things done a certain way, to prove that she's right and not crazy. Well, she ain't foolin' me. The rest of the night was terrible. She picked apart every little thing I did and went out of her way to prove that she was right and I was wrong about stupid shit like sweeping and where to set the milk pail. "no no, 2 inches this way!" I am so not joking about her pickiness.

In the 3+ years that I have worked for her, she has gone through over a dozen employees because she couldn't get along with them. I think she knew that my way of sweeping would have been perfectly acceptable (made more sense to me even) but she is my boss and it is her farm. This is not the first argument we've had and not the first time I've thought about leaving and never returning. On my first night there she lost a hook for the milking machines in the straw between the animals. She ordered me to "get down there and find it!" As I was digging through straw and cow shit, she forced a giant cow over in my direction which made the cow step on me, kick me in the back of the head and throw me into the back wall of the barn. Really f*cking nice! I still have a hoof print on my left shoulder, and I continue to go there twice a week. What the hell is wrong with me? I always return hoping that she will calm down and not fly off the handle over stupid stuff.

Fast forward to this week. After her mid-way through chores potty break, she enters the barn holding something. I tried not to pay any attention and go on about my business. She comes over and says "here, I bought this for the girls, so they have something to keep themselves occupied next week during Spring Break." She bought them a CD of kids songs. Nice gesture or I'm sorry without ever saying the words "I'm sorry"?

I would love to quit my job, but my husband has a high level of respect for this woman. He started working for her when he was 11. He's now 31 and still goes over to fix things for her and occasionally does chores when she calls last minute and I refuse. The extra money always helps too, but still I wonder if it's worth the trouble and stress for $200 a month and the extra work load for my washing machine?


Such Lovely Freckles said...

No amount of respect by my husband would keep me there for even one more day. Sorry. I can't deal with crap like that, and especially not for three long years. I am too good for buttheads like that. :)

skyewriter said...

Gosh, what an unhappy person that woman is.

I don't think her treatment of you is warranted; no way, no how.

What a conundrum! Especially because of your husband's involvement with her.

I have had picky bosses in my life, too, and I have a theory about them.

They like to think they are in control over things by being uber-anal-- really it just makes them shitty bosses.

I said to one employer after a long day of him criticizing everything I did, staring at him, unblinking, right in the eye: "Are you trying to fire me, but just don't want to hurt my feelings?"

He literally just stared at me with his mouth open. I refused to look away and he started "uhmming" and "ahhing" while looking everywhere but at me.

I let him know he was treating me like shit and should consider my feelings-- but made him look like the "good" guy, which he obviously wasn't.

He backed off.

$200 a month? I guess you would have to figure out what that money lets you do that you couldn't do without it...

Missy said...

Nope, I would not be putting up with that kind of crap from anyone! As far as the husband goes, shame on him if he thinks it's ok for someone to treat you like that.

Shady Lady said...

Wow! You are a better woman than I! I couldn't deal with that. But, we all make choices and you need to do what you feel is best. Good luck to you...I know it's not easy to make these kinds of decisions.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you! She really should be ashamed of herself for acting like a snotty teenager. I can understand your wanting to quit. I am sure you've realized that she must have some deep rooted issues that have made her such a mean, unhappy person...maybe you're the only light she has in her dark, angry world...who knows. Obviously she feels something for you or else she would not have bought something for your kiddos. I'm sorry you have to go through this! You must have a lot of self control.

sheila said...

Women bosses are theeee WORST. I had one once who called me in her office and reemed me a new one for not lining up two pieces of paper completely even before stapling them together. I had to squint to see that they were not lined up, that's how close it was. Bitch.

I feel sorry for anyone who has to live with your boss. Gee, that must be fun. Unfortunately, she'll probably never change. But in these times, the $200 a month is probably worth the headache. Try and tell yourself she's just a miserable person and let it go. :)

Kelly said...

I have BRIEFLY worked for bosses like this in the distant past.

May the force be with you. I would have quit a long time ago.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Tough situation. I don't think I would put up with that.

Anonymous said...

I read this and had to share your story with the guys here at work since we all know & "love" Marion! They can't believe you're still working for her! At least we can just hang up the phone when she swears at us.

Debbie said...

I'm thinking your husband could still go over and show his respect but you don't have to be abused by anyone!

Rachel said...

Aliceson, I am the type that will stay in a sucky job just to avoid the confrontation of quitting, but I don't think an extra $200 a month is worth this aggrivation. You could always just tell her the girls are needing more attention at home/school and you need more time to devote to that. There's no reason to let her know you're quitting because she's batsh*t crazy (which we already knew from the flat-screen in the console post, already).

Or you could always fake an injury and just never go back.

Heather said...

I agree with Rachel - I think you should make the excuse of kids needing more time. Or just start looking for another part time job if you need the money.

Sorry to hear that you are all sick again by the way.