Thursday, May 7, 2009

Drama, Drama and Foot Trauma

Another TMI post, you've been warned!

The Honeymoon is officially over! Remember a few months back when my farmer boss had a huge temper tantrum over sweeping? Well she was on good behavior for a few weeks, trying not to be so nit-picky but slowly she has worked her way back to her annoying OCD self. Last night when I pulled into her driveway, there was a truck blocking where I normally would park, so I start aiming for the pre-approved alternate spot when she waves me off (arms flailing and shouting) and makes me park clear across the yard. She walks over and before I even get out of the car she's waving her arms and carrying on and on about how I shouldn't park in the alternate spot anymore and I should just wedge my boat of a car in next to the silo "park over there" as she stretches out her arm to point with her curled up old lady fingers. Then as I'm putting on my rubber shoe covers (a farm must have) she notices the bags of peat moss and composted manure that are sitting in the trunk of my car. "Whaddya want that for? You know you could come and get a bushel basket of the shit scrapins from the yard? That's just as good as what you have there?" The idea is to cut the crap, not put it in my garden. I know I know, people have been using manure for gardening for years, but seriously I take enough shit from her already, I don't want her fresh poo. I'll take the actually composted (sitting on a pile in the cow yard for a week does not equal composted) stuff for $1 a bag over her stuff that I can still see bits of corn in. Although my dogs would love it, I don't want it!

Then while we were milking the cows, the sports guy was on the radio talking about Brett Favre (former Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) and his possible move to Minnesota to play for the Vikings. Now normally I don't care about (American) football, it does not interest me in the least and I was actually lucky enough to find a man who also doesn't care about the sport. I know, I lucked out with the Gardener. So anyhow, people are calling in to this sports show and complaining about Brett Favre and how he's just doing this to get back at the Packers management and more than a few callers (during the day this station runs conservative talk shows mind you) were saying that they hope Brett Favre would be hurt (Really Christian Conservatives? You wish harm upon another human being just because he's going to play for a rival team?) in the first game and out for the rest of the season. As she's agreeing with the irrational callers, I ask her, "You don't really think he's coming back to football from retirement for a second time just to piss off the Packers do you?" She responds "Oh my, yes!" Then she had a mini tantrum right there in the barn as she switched the milking machines between cows. I know the Packer fans around here are serious about their team, but come on, this seems too wacky even for the Cheese Heads.

***

I went back to the Dermatologist on Tuesday. The moles are gone and healed but the nasty, ugly warts remain on the bottom of my foot. After 2 weeks of acid and Compound W treatments, my poor foot looks like it has been through a war, and lost. The skin is tender to the touch which makes walking a little interesting, but doc says to keep on keeping on if I want to get rid of these awful things for good. Plantar warts are actually caused by a virus (thank you Google), more specifically the human papillomavirus (HPV- the same family of virus that can cause certain types of cervical cancer). The kind of HPV I have is not an STD (no weird foot fetishes around here), but not fun in any case. I go back in 2 weeks for more of the same. I asked my doc how long he thought this eradication process would take, he just laughed. I guess that means no sandals for me this summer. :(

9 comments:

skyewriter said...

Sorry about your pain-in-the-ass boss-lady and the pain in your feet.

I had one of warts on my left heel when I was seven; every summer (both pre-wart and post-wart) I refused to wear shoes between May and August back in the 1970s in the rural little hamlet where I was born. It was painful, but eventually did heal.

T. Anne said...

Wear the sandals anyway! Your a mom you deserve comfort and style.

sheila said...

I almost didn't get through your whole post after you wrote you 'took enough shit from her already'...omg, LOL!

As for the plantars? I'd say 4 weeks.

As for the Brett Farve thing? I just shake my head. People like that are just so amazing.

Riot Kitty said...

What a psycho woman! Eek.

Out in Them Sticks said...

I had a plantar wart once. I went to have a pedicure (my very first actually) and the lady was not happy with me and treated me like crap. She told me I needed to take care of my feet and she didn't seem pleased. I would not go back for another pedicure for YEARS after that because of the experience (not that I would go that often anyway... it's only a thing I do for chick bonding time on rare occasions.)

Anyway, she told me that I had a "rough" spot on my foot that was a virus and that I should get it looked at. I went to a podiatrist and had it removed (a giant hole was made, so I know what you mean!). I hope it heals soon! Never was I told that it was HPV?!! Crazy!!

Who cares what others think... enjoy the sandles!! :) That's one of the best things about summer.

LL Cool Joe said...

I'm so pleased it isn't just me that swears on my blog then. Well apart from Riot Kitty of course!

The warts sound unpleasant. You don't your bosses pile of shit scrapins applied each day on them may get rid of the warts? Although you may find that your husband and kids have gone too. :D

Shady Lady said...

You are so much better than I am. I so could not deal with her!

Sorry about the feet! Tread lightly.

Sidhe said...

Okay, psycho woman is a freak and that is coming from a huge Packer fan and lover of Brett. I got the other guy who doesn't care about football and it's not that cool for me, because I really DO LOVE THE PACKERS! Okay, I wasn't happy with him going to the Jets and I would be even less happy with him going to the Vikings (because of the division) but seriously, he's not sticking it to the Packers, he's my age, he's a young guy who can retire and probably physically should retire, but is young enough to want to continue to do the thing that he enjoys.

Warts! I was on the swim team in high school and it seems like the Plantar wart was just a fact of life, I finally conquered them when I quit wandering around swimming pools...I'm getting ready to start that crap again though.

Do you want some of my crap? I've got a nice field, no corn in it though because I'm a freak that absolutely does not believe in feeding corn to cattle, they can't freaking digest it, duh! If I wanted fat mad-cow beef I'd buy it from the store. Okay, apologies for the mini-farm rant but I do have some serious food safety issues that are quite psychological...

Funnyrunner said...

I've read that duct tape gets rid of warts (seriously)...